Narrative

Senior Night

     Fear has been a controlling aspect of my life ever since I can remember. Sure, on the outside I might appear calm but in reality I worry about every single part of life. On November 10, 2012, the fear I’ve known my whole life was multiplied exponentially. That was the last football game I ever played.

     In the six years of playing football I was always one of the smallest, it felt like I was constantly surrounded by giants. Unfortunately, my senior year of football was spent mostly on the bench due to my size.

     November 10, 2012 was our first playoff game in almost a decade and I had no intention of getting in, this game was far too important to the coaches to take any unnecessary risk.

     Pre-game: the locker room was dead silent, each player dressed from head to toe in blue and gold. Each player was trying to get themselves mentally prepared for the intense war that was about to take place. The coaches went over the game plan one last time to assure perfection. Then we gathered around our coach taking a knee as we bowed our heads for the Lord’s Prayer:

Our Father,

Who art in heaven,

Hallowed be Thy name;

Thy kingdom come;

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us;

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil. Amen.

     The locker room was dry, hot and smelled like testosterone, but being here with my teammates… my family members, life was content.

     The air was crisp and cold that night, and there was a light drizzle of rain making it feel even colder. We sprinted from our locker room to the battlefield like a pack of vicious wolves, the crowd erupted like a fiery volcano and the student section was overflowing with school spirit.

     As I stood there on the freshly cut grass looking around myself at the hundreds of football hungry fans I felt the most intense feeling of pride, happiness and amazement. Our kickoff team got set on the field as the rest of us lined up on the side line with our helmets raised up. The ball is launched to the other teams five yard-line and the stadium roars! My adrenaline kicked in and started coursing through my body.

     The first three quarters flew by, it was a strenuous battle back and forth, both teams fighting as if their lives depended on it. It came down to the fourth quarter and we were down by two touchdowns.

     “Milner!” The offensive coordinator called me over.

     I was anxious about why he would possibly call me over, “yes coach?”

     “I need you in at right tackle the next time offense goes out.”

     It took me time to process his request but I still couldn’t believe it.

     “Why would he put one of the smallest linemen in at such a critical point in the game?” I questioned myself.

     “Milner, can you handle that?”

     “Yes coach.”

     I went back to watch our defense trying to prevent them from moving the ball down field. My heart was pounding like a jackhammer. I could feel my blood pumping, and the nerves in my stomach. I thought I was going to pass out before I even made it onto the field. What if I trip while running out? What if I forget the play? What if I get hurt? What if I mess up the entire play? These “what ifs” were taking over my mind making me even more nervous.

     The time came for the offense to take the field. As I stepped on the field everything changed, the roar of the crowd was muted, the cold air was unnoticeable, everything became…numb. The first play we ran was a sweep to the left, and as soon as the quarterback hiked the ball the 240 pound defensive end drove me back. Luckily our running back was already on his way to the opposite side of the field but I still got my ass kicked on the first play, I couldn’t believe it. The next play we ran was 24 Dive a run up the middle. I picked myself up and this time as soon as the ball was hiked I drove my hands into the defensive end’s chest and dug my feet into the cold, wet ground. Our running-back broke through the middle of the line and then juked out their safety and ran it 33 yards into they’re end zone. The play was ran perfectly and now we were only down by a touchdown. Unfortunately there was only three minutes left on the game clock. Our defense HAD to stop them and get the ball back. The first play they ran was a short pass; our linebacker flew out of nowhere and intercepts the ball! The crowd gets even louder. Only one minute and forty seconds left. The D-end across from me has a solid 30 pounds on me. We run play after play, getting closer and closer, but the massive D-end kept coming at me harder and faster. I was out of breath, tired, my legs were going numb…but I knew I couldn’t give up on my family. With ten seconds left and twenty yards we could only run one more play. The quarterback hikes the ball, he drops back, and I pushed through the pain and fatigue to hold my ground. The ball flew through the air as the clock reached zero, and out of thin air the defensive-back deflects the pass. It was over, but even though we lost I was still content knowing I pushed myself passed my own boundaries.